RANCH SIMULATOR REVIEW: WHERE FARMING MEETS CHAOTIC FUN
Ranch Simulator is the kind of game that makes you forget you've been playing for 9 hours straight while trying to build the perfect pig empire. It's like someone took the best bits of Farming Simulator, sprinkled in some Minecraft-style building, and added just enough chaos to keep you coming back for more.
LIVING YOUR BEST FARM LIFE
Want to build your dream ranch from scratch? You can do that. Fancy becoming a pig-breeding mogul? Hell yeah. Feel like hunting some deer while your automated watering system keeps your crops happy? Go for it. The game gives you the freedom to be the rancher you want to be, whether that's a serious agriculturalist or someone who builds physics-defying barn towers just because they can.
THE GOOD, THE GREAT, AND THE GLORIOUSLY JANKY
The building system is surprisingly robust – you can either use pre-made blueprints or channel your inner architect and build everything from scratch. The animal management is satisfying as hell when it works, and there's something weirdly therapeutic about watching your livestock multiply until your GPU begs for mercy.
The hunting adds a fun survival element, though the AI sometimes has... interesting ideas about animal behavior. Like wolves that attack deer but forget to eat them afterward. Maybe they're vegetarian wolves? Who are we to judge?
MAKING THAT SWEET FARM MONEY
Pro tip: Pigs are basically your ticket to retirement. These bacon-producing money machines breed faster than rabbits on energy drinks, and while they might occasionally crash your game by being too successful at multiplication, they're your best bet for becoming a millionaire rancher.
HORSING AROUND
The new horse system is like that ambitious school project that got an A for effort. The galloping looks fantastic, and while the other movements might look like the horse learned to walk from watching old Charlie Chaplin films, there's something endearing about it. Plus, nothing beats exploring your land on horseback, even if your steed occasionally decides gravity is more of a suggestion than a law.
THE "FEATURES" (DEFINITELY NOT BUGS)
Look, let's be real – there are some quirks. Your dogs might have shorter lifespans than a Snapchat story, vehicles sometimes handle like they're on an ice rink covered in banana peels, and occasionally your animals will transcend the laws of physics. But honestly? It adds to the charm. These aren't bugs, they're spontaneous entertainment generators.
CONCLUSION
Ranch Simulator is like that one friend who's a bit messy but makes every hangout memorable. Sure, it's got rough edges, but it's also got heart, charm, and enough content to keep you entertained for hours. Whether you're playing solo or with friends, there's something magical about building your own agricultural empire, even if that empire occasionally defies the laws of nature.
Is it perfect? Nah. Is it fun as hell? Absolutely. It's the kind of game that makes you say "just one more in-game day" until you realize the sun is coming up in real life.
Score: 8/10 - Like adopting a puppy that occasionally clips through walls: not flawless, but you'll love it anyway.
We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn't impact our review in any way. Though we might need therapy after watching our entire pig population achieve singularity through excessive breeding.