VALVE FINALLY TELLS DEVS TO STOP TREATING SEASON PASSES LIKE PONZI SCHEMES
In a move that's about as shocking as finding out games need to actually work before release, Valve has decided to crack down on the wild west of season passes. Who could have guessed that promising infinite content for finite money might need some regulation?
THE NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN
Valve's latest Steamworks update reads like a passive-aggressive note from your landlord: "Hey, remember all that content you promised? Yeah, we're gonna need that on time." They've laid down some ground rules that are basically telling developers to put up or shut up when it comes to season passes.
NO MORE MYSTERY BOXES
Gone are the days of "Trust me bro, the DLC will be awesome" marketing. Developers now need to actually tell players what they're buying - revolutionary concept, we know. Every season pass needs:
An actual list of what DLC you're getting (shocking!)
Some basic description of what's in each DLC (beyond "stuff and things")
Real release dates that aren't just "when it's ready™"
THE THREE-MONTH RULE
Here's where it gets spicy: developers get ONE chance to delay their DLC, and only by three months. It's like asking your professor for an extension, except this time, Valve is the professor and they're done with your excuses about your dog eating your code.
If you need more time than that? You better have Gabe Newell on speed dial because you'll need to convince Valve directly. And let's be real - they're probably less understanding than your mom about why you couldn't get your homework done on time.
REFUNDS: THE NUCLEAR OPTION
The best part? If developers cancel DLC that was promised in a season pass, they actually have to gasp give people their money back! What a concept! Valve's even threatening to pull season passes from sale if developers can't keep their promises. It's almost like they want companies to be accountable or something.
THE BOTTOM LINE
This is Valve basically telling developers: "Look, if you want to sell future content, maybe have an actual plan for making it?" It's the kind of common sense that somehow needed to be spelled out in official documentation.
Somewhere out there, a developer who was planning to fund their next project with season pass money for content they haven't even conceptualized yet is having a really bad day.