GRANNY: ESCAPE TOGETHER REVIEW - HIDE AND SEEK WITH GRANDMA'S JIGGLE PHYSICS
Ever wondered what it would be like if your grandma went full psycho and trapped you in a house that makes the SAW franchise look like a daycare center? Well, wonder no more because Granny: Escape Together is here to answer that burning question absolutely nobody asked for.
LIKE GRANNY, BUT WITH A CHEAP INSTAGRAM FILTER
Let's start with the obvious – this isn't your mobile phone's Granny anymore, but don't get too excited. The graphics got what I'd generously call an "upgrade," moving us from PS1 territory all the way to... early PS3? Maybe? It's like someone took the original game and ran it through a budget "make it HD" filter they bought for five bucks on the Unity Asset Store. The house looks slightly less like a cardboard box now, but everything still has that "my first Unity project" vibe going on. And yet, somehow, someone at the dev team had enough processing power left over to implement those weirdly detailed jiggle physics on Granny, making every chase sequence feel like a bizarre fever dream of physics gone wrong.
MULTIPLAYER: BECAUSE TRAUMA IS BETTER SHARED
The big selling point here is multiplayer, except there's a catch – when they say "play with friends" they actually mean "friend" (singular). That's right, despite the initial promise of 1-3 players, you can only play with one other person. It's like showing up to a party and finding out your grandma only made enough cookies for two people, except instead of cookies, it's terror.
BUGS: MORE THAN GRANNY'S BASEMENT
Holy shit, where do I even start? The game has more bugs than a dumpster behind a restaurant. Settings refuse to save like they're having commitment issues, items clip through the map faster than my will to live, and sometimes you'll get killed while hiding under a bed because apparently Granny has X-ray vision now. The cherry on top? If your buddy dies first, they get to enjoy the thrilling gameplay experience of... watching you run around like a headless chicken for the next 20 minutes.
GRANDPA AND THE BASEMENT OF NOPE
Oh yeah, there's also Grandpa – or whatever that zombie-looking thing in the basement is supposed to be. He's about as threatening as a wet sock until he decides to camp a hiding spot like a Call of Duty player, making it literally impossible to progress. Cool design choice, bros.
CONCLUSION
Granny: Escape Together is like that homemade cookies recipe your grandma refuses to write down – it has potential, but something's definitely missing. While the upgraded graphics and co-op feature are nice additions, the bugs and limitations make it feel more half-baked than a rushed Christmas dinner.
For every moment of genuine fun running around with a friend, there's another moment where you're questioning why you paid money to get virtually abused by senior citizens. It's still worth playing if you've got a friend who enjoys sharing your suffering, but maybe wait for a few patches – or a sale.
6.5/10 - Like visiting your grandma's house, if your grandma was really into torture chambers and had serious boundary issues.
We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn't impact our review in any way. Though we might need therapy after witnessing those jiggle physics.