CALL OF DUTY'S FILE SIZE: WHEN YOUR GAME TAKES UP MORE SPACE THAN YOUR EX'S EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

Looks like Activision's latest “masterpiece”, Call of Duty Black Ops 6, is aiming to be the Godzilla of your hard drive. With a rumored 300GB install size, it's not just eating up your storage – it's setting up a fucking buffet.

THE "OOPS, DID WE DO THAT?" DEFENSE

Activision's doing the corporate version of "It's not a bug, it's a feature!" They've walked back the 300GB claim saying that it "might" need 300GB eventually. Oh, how generous of them to leave us some crumbs of storage.

MONOPOLY: HARD DRIVE EDITION

Here's where shit gets interesting. Some tinfoil hat wearers (or maybe just observant gamers) are crying foul, suggesting this bloated behemoth of a game is actually a sneaky way to monopolize your storage. Can't install competitor's games if COD's taking up all the space, right? It's like digital manifest destiny, but instead of land, it's your SSD.

THE "BUT CINEMATICS!" EXCUSE

Activision's trotting out the old "but our cinematics are so pretty!" excuse. Because apparently, we need 200GB of pre-rendered cutscenes to enjoy shooting each other in the face. Who needs gameplay when you can have a feature-length film between matches?

REALITY CHECK

Let's be real for a second. There's no fucking way a game with a handful of maps needs more storage than the entire works of Shakespeare, the complete discography of The Beatles, and your grandmother's recipe collection combined. It's lazier than a sloth on Valium.

So, what's the solution? Well, some Reddit geniuses suggest going back to the future with game cartridges. Imagine: swapping out SSDs like it's 1995 and you're playing your SNES. "Mom, have you seen my Call of Duty cartridge? It's the size of a fucking toaster!"

In the meantime, maybe Activision could, I don't know, learn how to compress a file? Or perhaps they could include a free SSD with every purchase. "Buy Call of Duty, get a free apartment for it to live in!"

Remember, gamers: When a game takes up more space than your actual social life, it might be time to rethink your choices. Or at least invest in a bigger hard drive.