ZERO SIEVERT REVIEW - WHEN TARKOV AND stalker HAVE A DYSFUNCTIONAL BABY
Ever wondered what would happen if Escape from Tarkov and STALKER had a baby, but halfway through pregnancy they decided to raise it on a strict diet of pixels and bugs? Well, wonder no more, because ZERO Sievert is here to answer that question nobody asked.
LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
Don't let those cute little pixels fool you – this game is about as forgiving as a tax audit. Beneath its retro exterior lurks a hardcore survival shooter that'll have you questioning your life choices faster than your ex after seeing your Steam library. The pixel art style might scream "casual indie game," but the gameplay screams "git gud or die trying."
GUNPLAY THAT HITS DIFFERENT (SOMETIMES LITERALLY)
The combat feels like someone took Tarkov's weapon mechanics and compressed them into 2D, which works surprisingly well when it's not trying to kill you from off-screen. You've got more gun customization options than a Texas gun show, with over 30 weapons and enough attachments to make a gun enthusiast weep tears of joy.
But here's where things get spicy: enemies are basically terminators with pixel art skins. They'll snipe you from the edge of your screen faster than you can say "that's bullsh*t," and their aim is so good it makes John Wick look like a Storm Trooper with astigmatism.
BUGS, FEATURES, AND OTHER WILDLIFE
Speaking of wildlife, the local fauna includes everything from mutants to bugs – and I'm not just talking about the ones in the game world. Since hitting 1.0, ZERO Sievert has been serving up more technical issues than a coding bootcamp dropout's first project. From inventory items playing hide-and-seek to crashes that'll make you question your life choices, it's like the bugs are trying to speedrun your patience.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE PIXELATED
When everything works (which is about as consistent as my gym attendance), the game loop is addictively good. Scavenging through procedurally generated maps, upgrading your gear, and actually making it out alive feels better than finding money in your old jeans. The single-player focus means no sweaty try-hards or hackers to ruin your day – just good old-fashioned AI that occasionally behaves like it's had too much coffee.
CONCLUSION
ZERO Sievert is like that project car in your garage – it's got massive potential, but right now it's held together by duct tape and prayers. When it works, it's an absolute blast that'll eat your hours faster than a hungry teenager raids a fridge. When it doesn't... well, hope you've been working on anger management.
If you can overlook the bugs and occasional frustration, there's a genuinely engaging game here that scratches that Tarkov itch without the online toxicity. Just maybe wait for a few patches before diving in, unless you enjoy living dangerously.
7.4/10 - Like dating a beautiful mess: when it's good, it's really good, but sometimes it'll crash and burn harder than your first relationship.
We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn't impact our review in any way. Though we might need therapy after getting sniped by pixels for the hundredth time.