UBISOFT AXES 185 JOBS AS UK STUDIO FACES SHUTDOWN

Ever wondered what happens when a gaming giant's string of failures finally catches up with them? Ubisoft just answered that question by closing their Leamington studio and showing 185 people the door, all while wrapping it in enough corporate euphemisms to fill a buzzword bingo card.

THE CORPORATE AXE FALLS

Ubisoft's "targeted restructurings" (corporate speak for "sorry, you're fired") are hitting studios harder than a Dark Souls boss, with Leamington getting the full shutdown treatment while offices in Düsseldorf, Stockholm, and Newcastle get "downsized" like they're New Year's resolutions in February.

THE DOMINO EFFECT

This isn't just random corporate pruning - it's the result of Ubisoft's greatest hits list of recent failures. Star Wars Outlaws landed with all the grace of a Stormtrooper's aim, XDefiant got defiated right into the grave, and Assassin's Creed Shadows has been delayed more times than a flight during a snowstorm.

THE LEAMINGTON LEGACY

Founded in 2002 by ex-Rare and Codemasters veterans, Leamington went from pumping out bangers like DJ Hero to supporting massive franchises like The Division and Far Cry. Now they're joining the growing list of studios that Ubisoft has acquired only to eventually shut down, like a corporate version of those people who adopt pets and then can't take care of them.

THE NUMBERS GAME

Ubisoft's been shrinking faster than a wool sweater in hot water, going from 20,279 employees in 2022 to 18,666 by September 2024. Now they're talking about "extracting the best value for stakeholders," which is business speak for "everything must go!"

THE BOTTOM LINE

With Tencent hovering around like a vulture with a checkbook and Yves Guillemot clinging to control like it's the last helicopter out of a zombie apocalypse, all eyes turn to Assassin's Creed Shadows' March launch. At this point, that game needs to perform better than a speedrunner on their 1000th attempt, or Ubisoft might need more than just "targeted restructuring" to stay afloat.