SUCKER FOR LOVE: DATE TO DIE FOR - ELDRITCH HORNINESS MEETS HORROR

Akabaka's back with another cosmic fuck-fest, and this time they've cranked the Lovecraftian horror up to eleven. "Sucker for Love: Date to Die For" is less about awkward dates with tentacle monsters and more about running for your goddamn life while trying not to summon the end of the world.

FROM DATING SIM TO NIGHTMARE FUEL

Forget the cutesy bullshit from the first game. You're playing as Stardust, an asexual woman who's about as interested in dating as a vegan is in a steakhouse. But when a sexy goat lady from beyond the stars comes knocking, suddenly you're neck-deep in cultists, rituals, and enough cosmic horror to make Lovecraft himself shit his pants.

VOICE ACTING THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOUR EARS BLEED

The voice acting in this game is surprisingly good. It's like they hired actual talent instead of just grabbing the intern and shoving a microphone in their face. Each character sounds unique, which is impressive considering half of them are probably gibbering in tongues.

90s ANIME MEETS CTHULHU

The art style is a fucking trip. It's like someone took a 90s anime and let Lovecraft redraw it while high on cosmic mushrooms. It's weirdly charming, in a "I shouldn't find this elder god attractive, but here we are" kind of way.

ONE WAIFU TO RULE THEM ALL

Unlike the first game where you could bounce between different cosmic horrors like a multidimensional fuckboy, "Date to Die For" focuses on one main squeeze: Rhok'zan, the Black Goat of the Woods. It's quality over quantity, folks. By the end, you'll either want to marry her or run screaming into the night. Maybe both.

THE BOTTOM LINE

"Sucker for Love: Date to Die For" is like a bad acid trip at a Lovecraft convention - terrifying, confusing, but oddly enjoyable. It's a solid upgrade from the first game, offering more depth, better storytelling, and enough weirdness to make you question your sanity.

If you've ever wanted to date a goat lady from beyond the stars (and let's be honest, who hasn't?), this is your chance. Just don't blame us when you start chanting in your sleep and growing tentacles.

Score: 8 out of 10 Eldritch Abominations

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sacrifice a goat to my new waifu. Or was it date a goat and sacrifice my waifu? Fuck, I can't remember. That's cosmic horror for you.

We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn’t impact our review in any way.