JUST CROW THINGS REVIEW - FEATHERED MAYHEM MEETS AVIAN ADHD

Just Crow Things swoops into the indie game scene like a caffeinated corvid on a mission, bringing more chaos than a flock of seagulls at a beachside picnic. This feathered fever dream from the twisted minds behind Rain on Your Parade proves once again that sometimes, the best way to make a game is to take a simple concept, inject it with pure madness, and let it loose on an unsuspecting world.

GAMEPLAY: BIRD BRAIN MEETS SANDBOX

At its core, Just Crow Things is simpler than a pigeon's thought process. You're a crow. You fly. You poop. You cause chaos. It's like if Goat Simulator and Untitled Goose Game had a drunken one-night stand, and this feathered monstrosity was the result.

The game eases you into your role as nature's little asshole with all the subtlety of a brick through a window. One minute you're learning to flap your wings, the next you're terrorizing the local populace with a combination of aerial acrobatics and precisely timed defecation. It's beautiful, really.

Each level is a sandbox of possibilities, filled with more objectives than you can shake a tailfeather at. From helping squirrels find their babies (how wholesome) to painting graffiti with a comically oversized brush (less wholesome), the range of activities is as varied as it is absurd. And let's not forget the races – because nothing says "crow simulator" like time trials, right?

CONTROLS: FLAPPY BIRD ON STEROIDS

The controls in Just Crow Things are like trying to pilot a drunk seagull – initially awkward, but strangely satisfying once you get the hang of it. Flying feels like a constant battle against gravity and your own ineptitude, which, to be fair, is probably accurate to the crow experience.

Pro tip: Toggle the flight button unless you want to develop carpal tunnel faster than a court stenographer on speed. Your trigger finger will thank you.

VISUALS: A FEVER DREAM IN TECHNICOLOR

Graphically, Just Crow Things looks like what would happen if a box of crayons exploded inside a Pixar animator's brain. It's a riot of colors and whimsical designs that'll either charm you or make you question if someone slipped something into your bird seed.

The attention to detail is impressive, from the way your little crow struts around to the expressions of sheer terror on the faces of your victims. It's like watching a cartoon come to life, if that cartoon was directed by a slightly unhinged ornithologist with a penchant for slapstick comedy.

AUDIO: A SYMPHONY OF CAWS AND CHAOS

The sound design in Just Crow Things is a masterclass in controlled auditory insanity. The crow's caw is more satisfying than it has any right to be – you'll find yourself spamming that button just to hear your little feathered friend express its joy (or possibly existential dread, it's hard to tell with birds).

The music bounces between whimsical and mildly deranged, perfectly complementing the on-screen antics. It's the kind of soundtrack that'll have you bobbing your head while you commit unspeakable acts of avian mischief.

CUSTOMIZATION: PIMP MY CROW

Because apparently being a crow wasn't enough, the game throws in more cosmetic options than a bird fashion show. With 45 hats, 8 skins, and 11 scarf colors, you can dress your crow up like it's about to attend the Met Gala of the bird world. Nothing says "fear me" like a crow in a top hat and a fabulous scarf.

LONGEVITY: SHORT BUT SWEET (AND SLIGHTLY DERANGED)

Just Crow Things isn't going to keep you occupied for months on end, unless you develop some kind of crow-based obsession (no judgment here). Most players report wrapping things up in about 9 hours, which is just long enough to be satisfying without overstaying its welcome.

The real joy comes from the sandbox nature of the game. Sure, you can follow the objectives, but the true magic happens when you go off-script and start experimenting with just how much havoc one bird can wreak.

ACHIEVEMENTS: FOR THE COMPLETIONISTS AND THE CLINICALLY INSANE

If you're the kind of person who needs that 100% completion, Just Crow Things has you covered. Most achievements are straightforward – complete levels, win races, find collectibles. But then there's the poop achievement. Ten thousand poops. That's not a typo. Hope you've got strong wing muscles and a lot of free time.

THE VERDICT: A BIRD-BRAINED MASTERPIECE

Just Crow Things is the kind of game that makes you question the sanity of its creators while simultaneously applauding their genius. It's stupid, it's brilliant, it's frustrating, it's hilarious – often all at the same time.

Is it perfect? Hell no. The camera can be more temperamental than a seagull guarding its chips, and some of the objectives feel more repetitive than a parrot with a limited vocabulary. But when it clicks, when you're soaring through the air, raining down feathered justice on unsuspecting humans, it's pure, unadulterated joy.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Just Crow Things is a testament to the idea that sometimes, the dumbest concepts make for the best games. It's a love letter to chaos, a middle feather to physics, and a reminder that deep down, we all just want to be a bird and poop on things.

We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn't impact our review in any way. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go explain to my neighbors why I've been staring at crows and cackling maniacally. It's for research, I swear.