Estate Agent Simulator review- Real Estate or Real Disappointment
Estate Agent Simulator - the game that promised me a ticket to the big leagues of virtual real estate. The pitch? Simple: buy low, sell high, and play house with properties. Sounds like a blend of House Flipper, The Sims, and maybe a sprinkle of Monopoly madness, right? Wrong. What I got was a role-playing game that's less "Wolf of Wall Street" and more "Sheep in the Suburbs".
"Cleaning Up" - More Like Cleaning Out Boredom
Let's talk cleaning - a fundamental in real estate, right? Well, here's the twist: it's the same song and dance for every property. Whether you've snagged a bargain bin bungalow or a swanky mansion, the drill is identical. Pick up trash, spray some walls, and say goodbye to roaches. Talk about missing a chance to mix it up! Where's the chaos of a frat house aftermath or the eerie cleanliness of a suspiciously spotless studio?.
Building Dreams or Building Disappointments?
Building time! Or so I thought. You get your land, you get your plans, and then... you get a progress bar. Yep, that's it. No hammering, no sawing, no swearing at a missing nail. Just a glorified loading screen masquerading as construction. I half-expected Bob the Builder to pop up and apologize for the inconvenience.
Furnishing Fiasco - The "Almost There" Feature
Alright, a silver lining in the furnishing department. This bit's got potential, folks. You buy furniture, haul it in your trusty pickup (or 'ute' for my Aussie mates), and get down to decorating. It's like playing Tetris with couches and tables, but beware - forget to hit that save button, and it's groundhog day in your newly furnished living room.
Controls & Graphics - Stuck in a Time Warp
Controls? Basic, but they do the job. Graphics? Oh boy, where do I start? If you've ever wanted to time travel back to the days of early 3D models, this is your chance. I swear the cars look like they were doodled in MS Paint then given the 3D treatment as an afterthought. And the overall visual vibe? Let's just say it's more PS1-era SWAT than modern-day chic.
The Soundtrack of My Displeasure
Now, the sounds. Remember that annoying horse sound in every medieval movie ever? It's here, in the middle of the city, haunting me. And the rest of the audio? Just as jarring. I ended up turning it down and jamming to my own playlist because, let's face it, anything's better than the constant clip-clop and the eerie silence of voiceless characters.
Repetition Overload - A One-Track Mind
Look, I enjoy a good grind as much as the next gamer, but this? It's like listening to the same song on repeat during a cross-country road trip. Repetitive tasks, rinse and repeat gameplay, and a lack of variety that makes even the most mundane real-life chores seem thrilling by comparison.
Conclusion
Estate Agent Simulator had the potential to be the real estate mogul's dream game. Instead, it's a half-baked sim that's more likely to teach you the virtues of patience and lower expectations than the ins and outs of property flipping. If you're into repetitive gameplay and have an affinity for nostalgia-inducing graphics, dive right in. For the rest of you? Maybe wait until they've laid more bricks on this foundation. For now, it's a 5/10 - a shaky investment in your gaming portfolio.
We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this, however, hasn’t impacted our review in any way.