BALDUR'S GATE 3: LARIAN PREPARES TO set OFF INTO THE SUNSET
Well, well, well. It looks like the mad bastards at Larian Studios are finally ready to put Baldur's Gate 3 to bed. After countless patches, bear-fucking incidents, and enough sass from Shadowheart to fill a small ocean, the devs are gearing up for one last hurrah before they ride off into the sunset.
THE LAST SUPPER (OR PANEL, WHATEVER)
Michael "Cromwelp" Douse, Larian's publishing director and apparent master of understatement, calls the upcoming PAX West panel a "lively, cathartic" affair. Translation: It's gonna be a fucking riot. Expect tears, laughter, and probably at least one dev breaking down and confessing their undying love for Astarion.
This panel isn't just a goodbye; it's a viking funeral for a game that's consumed the lives of both developers and players for the past few years. Pour one out for your favorite bug that definitely wasn't a feature, folks.
WHAT'S NEXT? PROBABLY NOT MORE BEAR SEX
But don't worry, you thirsty degenerates. While BG3 might be winding down, Larian's not about to go gentle into that good night. They've got "two games" in the pipeline, which could mean anything from "Divinity: Original Sin 3" to "Astarion's Erotic Adventures in Accounting."
Whatever it is, you can bet your last gold piece it'll be as buggy, brilliant, and batshit insane as everything else they've ever made. Here's hoping they keep the bear as a romance option, just for old times' sake.
PATCH 7: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING
Before they completely abandon ship, Larian's got one last treat for us: Patch 7. It's bringing mod support (prepare for Thomas the Tank Engine dragons, people) and improvements to "the art of snogging." Because if there's one thing BG3 needed, it was more tongue action.
And apparently, there's even more updates coming after that. At this rate, we'll still be playing BG3 when the heat death of the universe rolls around. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
Look, let's be real. Baldur's Gate 3 isn't just a game; it's a goddamn phenomenon. It's the RPG that made everyone remember why they fell in love with RPGs in the first place. It's the game that proved you can have depth, humor, and hella good writing all in one package.
So yeah, it's a bit sad to see Larian start to wrap things up. But let's not cry because it's over; let's smile because it happened. And then immediately start speculating wildly about what they're cooking up next.
Here's to you, Larian. Thanks for the memories, the memes, and the uncomfortably detailed bear sex scenes. You beautiful, crazy bastards.